kosmotis:

do not pity the dead, harry, pity the living, and above all those who think feminism means hating men.

adventuresofcesium:

remember when Andy scored among the highest ever on the aptitude test for becoming a police officer but then was denied because the interview showed that he was too kind and trusting and empathetic to be a cop

ruinedchildhood:

the economy hit the power rangers hard

ruinedchildhood:

the economy hit the power rangers hard

thatfunnyblog:

Words. To. Live. By.

thatfunnyblog:

Words. To. Live. By.

buckoftheirish:

tumbledore-:

gohomemccall:

my dad is a senior software engineer at Google
this is his work laptop

image

he takes it to company meetings

I’ve been told he has received many compliments

Marry him.

did
did you read the post

onlylolgifs:

First person to buy an iPhone 6 in Perth immediately drops it

onlylolgifs:

First person to buy an iPhone 6 in Perth immediately drops it

raptorific:

I hit words at random on iOS 8’s new predictive text feature so I could see what type of sentence my phone thinks I’m likely to say, and

image

officialunitedstates:

"What does the chef recommend?"

"Sir, this is a mcdonalds"

sebastiandebeste:

*hears a single word from a foreign language that i know* Wow. haha not to toot my own horn or anything but did you guys know that you are in the presence of a sophisticated linguist

lovemetoinfinity:

fatdough:

rewind-and-restart:

mountincest:

school doesnt even test your intelligence it tests your memory

it tests my patience

it tests my ability to hold my pee

it tests my ability to keep calm and not slap a bitch

queerchesters:

arterialspurt:

queerchesters:

fun date idea: Go down on me while I shop online with ur credit card

I don’t think someone could focus on the internet while I was going down on them.

you over estimate your skill and underestimate the joy of shopping

esme. sixteen. eres muy guapo. te amo.

“Nobody wants to hear that you will try your best. It is the wrong thing to say. It is like saying 'I probably won't hit you with a shovel.' Suddenly everyone is afraid you will do the opposite.”